Something really is wrong with me. And I don't know what it is.

I know that I brought this all on myself. I know that I deserve this. I'd do anything not to be this way. I'd do anything to make it up to everyone. I wish people would stop telling me its wrong. Just tell me how to be different in a way that makes sense. To make this all go away. And disappear. I know it was wrong & it's my responsibility. I wish I could fix everything but I can't. I'm sorry. ><'

 

-I want you to know that I am both happy and sad 

and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be-